"la, la, la, la Life Goes On"

Back in 2002, while trying to recover from a complete mental breakdown, I started writing a book as part of my therapy. Upon the suggestion of friends, I've decided to complete the book and publish it in the hopes of helping others struggling through life events that have nothing to do with addiction. I'll keep you posted on the release date of my book.

Also, Don't be left out, order your advance copy of this book Now at http://www.amazon.com/! I'm sure the "updates" will be an interesting read!

An inspiration in more ways then one.

It's amazing how things show up in your life that "You Think" have shown up for you to share with another, only to discovery what a difference it ends up making in your own life. This weekend's journey began a couple of years ago while driving across town with one of the Gary's in my life. Our conversation that day was centered around making changes in our lives, changes that would bring laughter, love and relief from the pain of the disasters we had both caused in our own lives over the last few years. During that ride, I was reminded of a song that I had heard on the radio by an artist that I had never really been a fan of but, I loved the song and it seemed to be the perfect anthem for our journey of mutual healing. I insisted that Gary drive us to the nearest Best Buy so we could buy the CD. I wanted him to hear that song! In keeping with the way all the "Gary's" in my life treat me, within minutes I was at Best Buy! We bought the CD, raced back to the car, put it on, reclined our seats and listened with our whole hearts! The song is "I Want to Know What Love is" by Wynonna Judd.

Friday morning, another one of the "Gary's" in my life came to pick me up with a picnic lunch in the car and we headed to Lake Charles, Louisiana to see Wynonna in the flesh, I wanted to hear that song up close and personal!

The stage lights went to black, the show is starting, you couldn't see anyone on the stage and then, that voice begins to sing, slowly a single spotlight begins to lite her. And then there she is with her flaming red hair and bigger then big voice. What happened to me emotionally during her show was amazing and also pretty big. All I could think was "how could she be standing up there singing like that with all that she's going through in her life and, if she can do this, I can do anything!" A couple of times, as she would begin a song, the tears popped up in her eyes and you could see her fight her way through it! When the music began of the song that I had come to hear, my tears popped up and, for the first time in a very long time, I let them flow! Tears for the disasters, mine and tears for the disasters of my friend, Gary. There I was surrounded by strangers, allowing my own tears to flow, it's almost impossible for me to do that in safe company. It felt wonderful, the woman sitting next to me reached over, patted me on the arm and smiled, as if to say "I know, I know"! There's something to be said for the kindness of strangers. Wynonna took me full-circle in a little over an hour, by the end of the show, like everyone else, I was on my feet dancing and applauding and feeling freer than I have in a very long time! The talent that was on that stage is huge, the voice is majestic and her presence is full of grace and humility. A class act for sure.

Over the weekend, Gary fed me well, bought my cigarettes, entertained me with gentle, loving care and bought me a surprise, a beautiful leather wallet that he felt I needed because mine had seen it's better days. Very interesting, since the one he was replacing was bought years ago by someone else that has a place in my heart.

When I arrived home, I got a call from a "Gary" wanting to know all about my trip and Wynonna's show. And then, this morning the "Gary" that started this Wynonna Journey years ago, called, "how was she, did she sing our song?" Yep she did!

Thanks Wy for being such an inspiration and for being an inspirational part of my journey! If that flaming Redhead of Your's can do that, this Blonde head of mine can do anything, no matter what shade of Blonde it happens to be at the moment!

A very Big Thanks to all My Gary's for loving me so much and showing it! You make me feel very loved! That's a wonderful gift, because the truth is "I Want To Know What Love Is." Thanks for showing me.

Thought for the Day!

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

— Mahatma Gandhi

Three Things In Life

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back -
1. Time
2. Words
3. Opportunity

Three things in life that can destroy a person -
1. Anger
2. Pride
3. Unforgiveness

Three things in life that you should never lose -
1. Hope
2. Peace
3. Honesty

Three things in life that are most valuable -
1. Love
2. Family & Friends
3. Kindness

Three things in life that are never certain -
1. Fortune
2. Success
3. Dreams

Three things that make a person -
1. Commitment
2. Sincerity
3. Hard work

I'll say!

"He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.
— George Herbert

This blog has been a "work in progress" Celebrating the originals!

It is often said that "Imitation is the purest form of flattery." And that may well be, but it has also been said that "Imitation" never rises to a level of greatness! I know that's true for sure! If you can't come up with your own, better to leave it alone!

I've always taken pleasure in being a maverick, never really followed the crowd, no matter what crowd it was. Part of a "group", nope, close, intimate friends that don't cluster is more my style. On this rollercoaster of a week that my family has been on, the lows have been pretty scary, but we've also shared some laughs, more than a few tears and some outright screaming by one or two of us, (including me, of course, I'm just one of the screamers in my family)! I began this day (Wednesday) writing about what the tears and fears were being caused by, but after reading my Princess Daughter's blog (Tuesday), I was so inspired by the Original Creation that she is, I started thinking about all the Originals that showed up to share the tears, the fears and the laughter of this week, and I want to celebrate them here!

A Celebration of Originals

My father is a part of every moment of my life, he is always very near, in moments of fear, sadness and joy, I feel him in my heart and soul. An original's original. He once gave me a poem to encourage the "Original" he had always seen in Me! Here it is!

Live each day to the fullest
Get the most from each hour
Each day
and each age of your life
then you can look forward
with confidence
and back without regrets

Be Yourself - but be your best self

Dare to be different,
and to follow your own star
and don't be afraid to be happy
enjoy what is beautiful

Love with all your heart and soul
believe that those you love, love you

When you are faced with a decision
Make that decision as wisely as possible
then forget it
the moment of absolute certainty
never arrives
and above all remember that

God Helps Those Who Help Themselves
Act as if everthing depended upon you
and pray as if everthing depends upon God!

Thanks Daddy, I'll do it!

My Mother a/k/a Baba! An original for sure! A drama queen, a spinner of yarns. And, like a lot of mother/daughter relationships, a difficult relationship for me. I watched my Mother sit in a chair all day on Monday, barely moving a muscle, very unusual for my Mother, at 85, she's the livest wire that I know. Once she felt like the danger had passed, she was off and running, once again, causing drama in her wake. My Mother has always lived her life in an original place, all her own, and I can't even come close to understanding that place. While having dinner with her last night (Friday) she decided to "tell me" the story I was "telling her." I guess she had been in my hip pocket and I just didn't know it!

My sister, Carlita, struggling herself, to re-gain her health, after surviving major surgery a month ago that involved having a very large part of her stomach removed. Standing in the sunlight gazing into her eyes this morning (Wednesday), I realized that she not only has Daddy's stomach, which has caused her pain most of her life, she has alot of his good stuff too, a beautiful voice, a talent for piano playing, his intelligence and, she has Daddy's gorgeous blue eyes. Sophisticated, Classy, Intelligent and her own person for sure. A delightful blend of Mother, Daddy and her unique self!

My brother, Edward. Solid, consistent, determined, kind, generous, cute as a button, it wouldn't be possible for me to love him anymore than I already do. One of my heroes, I wouldn't have made it through the way I made it through without him. Edward on the West Coast waiting, calling for reports, ready to do whatever needed to be done at a moments notice.

My brother Gary, boy, talk about original. Tall, blond, blue-eyed, joke telling, dancing, gambling monster. One of the most tender-hearted people I know. Unfortunately, like me, but even more than me, he protects his heart when he shouldn't. We share the same taste when it comes to dressing ourselves, I wonder how many of you will get that.

My blended sister, Penny, just one of the gifts I'm grateful that my step-father brought with him all those many years ago. Exotic, legs up to her shoulders, beautiful skin, a style all her own, that's nothing like any of the rest of us. A brown-eyed girl. And, the sweetest of the bunch.

My blended sister, Pamelita. The sharer of my secrets, more like me then any of the rest and so very different from me at the same time. Tall, gorgeous, a head turner, classy, cool, intelligent. A green-eyed monster, like me. "Green-eyed lady, lovely lady!" One of the great loves of my life. She's been through it all with me and had the guts to refuse to condone a lot of it. One of the bravest people I've ever known, and she's not like anyone else I've ever known. Thank you Pamela for stepping up to the plate this week and being there for my Mother!!!

My blended brother, Paul. What to say about that original? Independent, funny, fun, sensitive, outgoing. Tall, handsome, amazing blue eyes. Chooses to live elsewhere, but always shows up when he needs to! And, he had the good sense to marry a wonderful woman, who is also an original!

My Precious Princess Daughter, the one that started this ball rolling. Tall, beautiful, blond, green-eyed, cool, classy, brilliant, perfection thru and thru! While going through a very big event in her life, I was struggling through her beloved GeGe being admitted to the hospital. She called me with her big news (see www.santasmoon.blogspot.com) another dream of her's that has come true. I couldn't bring myself to tell her about her GeGe, so I didn't. Of course, over the weekend, she discovered what I hadn't told her and Thank God, she understood why I hadn't told her. "Mom, I coming home!" "No, you aren't! GeGe wouldn't want you to see him like this! You need to wait until he's better and at home so you can actually spend some time with him." "But Mom, I feel like a loser for not being there!" "You aren't a loser, no one thinks you 're a loser, everyone in the family loves, respects and admires you! No one would want you to be here seeing GeGe like this! We are all struggling enough already, don't make it worse by showing up and making us worry about Your reaction also." "Ok, Mom." And, while trying to celebrate her own very large news, she's called her Baba everyday, she's called me everyday, more concerned about her Gege then she's been about celebrating herself. You are a very good Princess, my lovely! Congratulations on your new career move! Thank you for bringing Peruna into my life once again, I was worried about you graduating with your Masters in the Spring and me not having access to Peruna. Thanks for taking my worry away! I love that pony!

And last, but certainly not least! The original that brought so many wonderful originals into my life, a man that has made a big difference in my life and an even bigger difference in the life of my Princess Daughter! Tall, handsome, a snappy dresser! A good man, quiet, still, constant! You've pulled through your second open heart surgery and now we all have many good years to look forward to! Thank you for that! I was honored and privileged to hold your hand, bow my head and pray for your safe journey with you and so many other originals that I love so much. God has blessed us all by giving us some more years with You! I love you Geg, I can't wait until you're strong enough to argue!

In the final analysis, I guess my Mother, that I struggle with so much, really does have it all going on. She's responsible for most of these originals being in my life, what a gift she has given me by choosing so very well. Ok, Mom, I'll give you a break as my way of saying thanks. I won't hold you accountable for anything until at least Monday! I love you!

To all the Originals mentioned above, I salute You and I Love You! Thank you for being courageous enough to be an Original and for Not settling for Imitation! I celebrate the Greatness of each of You!

P.S. To CV and Thumper. Thank you for being so present in my life this week. Your calls, good wishes and prayers for me and my family meant so much coming from two very special Originals!

A Celebration of "Freedom"

And I jumped on that freedom, grabbed it around the neck, flung it around in raw, crazy emotion and then hugged it tightly to myself so as to make it a part of my being.

Freedom - we may think we have it because there are no visible chains and no obvious mental control, but freedom is something we feel in our hearts. I know because today my heart soars unbound and overjoyed!!

-Laran O'Neill

I second that Motion Rufus!

http://www.from-rufus.blogspot.com/