Rufus Rants . . . and I don't blame her!

Beliefs: For Sale

After reading my sister's blog www.from-rufus.com, all kinds of things popped for me! I attended one of the meetings she's talking about with her once! Looking around the table and understanding what my sister has been through all the years that she has attended those meeting ALONE, I felt the intimidation and more then a little shameful that I hadn't availed myself to attending those meeting with her in the past, she certainly could have used an advocate. I have rarely felt that intimidated and silently, in my own head, was outraged at the thought that here we were, my sister, her son and myself, being outnumbered, threatened, intimidated and being told what they felt was best for her son by people that are paid with OUR TAX DOLLARS!!!!! The feeling was that they were there to do what was best for the school district, not what was necessarily best for my nephew. I felt compelled to take that intimidation on, and as is so often the way I deal with things, my mouth would not stay shut! My sister will probably never ask me to go to one of those meetings with her again. I came away with a new respect and admiration for my sister that day, and a new understanding of the very difficult road she had and still is walking. I salute you Rufus, I couldn't have gone through all you have gone through with the Grace you have displayed. Being my authentic self, I would have bombed the building years ago!

While thinking about all of that, the realizations started coming fast and furious, mostly having to do with rules and boundaries. It's terrible to be in a position of others telling you what the rules and boundaries are about the most important thing to any mother, her child! Feeling compromised on that level is more painful and fear inducing then I have the words to explain. It also popped up that agreeing to live by what some else tells you the rules and boundaries have to be in order to accommodate their fears, is fear inducing in it's self! It's feels wrong, it leaves you with a feeling of being less than authentic and in a place of questioning your own integrity!

When you have been through a time in your life when you have totally lost touch with all the rules and boundaries that have made your life work for you your entire life, it's a long process to re-establish your own rules and boundaries in your mind and, the hardest part of all, to then begin again to live by them! What attending that meeting with my sister did, and the memory her blog brought up again for me is, Fear. Fear is what causes each and everyone of us to not live by the rules and boundaries that we know are right and good for us. The fear of losing something, the fear of not looking good, the fear of making someone angry! The dictionary defines fear as:

fear: –noun
1. a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
2. a specific instance of or propensity for such a feeling: an abnormal fear of heights.
3. concern or anxiety; solicitude: a fear for someone's safety.
4.reverential awe, esp. toward God.
5.that which causes a feeling of being afraid; that of which a person is afraid: Cancer is a common fear. –verb (used with object)
6.to regard with fear; be afraid of.

I've lived most of my life being totally fearless! Believing I could handle anything that came my way. Right up until the time that I became fearful of everything, my own actions, the actions of others, the phone or doorbell ringing, fear of what I was going to say, or what others might say.

What I've learned today, living by your OWN rules and boundaries is what creates fearlessness. I read something a while back, written by someone else about what they have learned, I've deleted the ones I don't feel I've learned (I probably need to work on the ones I've deleted in order to learn them) and I've added my comments to the ones I have learned about what else I have learned. Here it is:

I've Learned

I'VE LEARNED that you cannot make someone love you or act a certain way to prove it to you. All you can do is be someone who is loving and can be loved. The rest is up to them. (How can anyone love you if you aren't being who you really are? Being true to your own rules and boundaries is the only way to be who you truly are!)

I'VE LEARNED that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.

I'VE LEARNED that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.

I'VE LEARNED that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better know something important and useful. (During my dark days, someone said to me "You are the most charming and endearing liar I've ever known! How's that for a compliment? Thanks DCM for holding my mouth accountable and for thinking I'm charming and endearing!)

I'VE LEARNED that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do. (I've learned that doing your best is sometimes intimidating to others, but that's no reason not to do your best, their feelings of intimidation are about their baggage.)

I'VE LEARNED that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it that matters.

I'VE LEARNED that you can do something in an instant that will give you a heartache for life.

I'VE LEARNED that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides. (I've learned that some people aren't interested in both sides, they only want to hear the side that suits their own needs.)

I'VE LEARNED that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be and who God made me to be, and that those are the same things.

I'VE LEARNED that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think carefully.

I'VE LEARNED that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I'VE LEARNED that you can keep going long, l o n g , L O O O O O O N G after you think you can't.

I'VE LEARNED that we are responsible for what we think, do, and say, no matter how we feel.

I'VE LEARNED that either you control your attitude or it controls your whole life.

I'VE LEARNED that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else more meaningful to take its place.

I'VE LEARNED that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of their fear or any possible consequences. (I've learned that some people have a distorted view of what a "hero" is! I've learned that you don't become a hero by doing for others what they can do for theirself. I've learned that doing for others what they can do theirselves is co-dependency, not helping, it's about thinking they are more important and have more value then you do, and you are, therefore willing to do what they can be do theirselves. I've learned that no one really values work you do for free or money you give away, they just think you have no life, need something to do, want to be liked, and are therefore willing to pay to be liked or avoid boredom by spending your money or by giving your time away. I've learned that there are those that will always take what you are willing to give but that when you have nothing left to give, they will be angry and probably, gone.)

I'VE LEARNED that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it in ways that are meaningful or preferable to you. (I've learned that I've been loved by many, I've been shown that love in the best way they knew how to show their love, I just wasn't any good at receiving it! I'm working on being better at receiving, to bad I didn't get that message for myself with that Valentine Basket episode!)

I'VE LEARNED that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I'VE LEARNED that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down may be the ones to help you get back up.

I'VE LEARNED that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, to feel and express my anger, but that never gives me the right to be cruel and harsh.

I'VE LEARNED that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance and the longest time. Same goes for true love.

I'VE LEARNED that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I'VE LEARNED that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated or how much you've accomplished or accumulated.

I'VE LEARNED that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't always biological. (Thanks Coco!)

I'VE LEARNED that it's possible to feel a stronger "family" connection to a step-sibling then to your biological siblings.

I'VE LEARNED that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. (I've learned that forgiveness of yourself is sometimes much harder then getting forgiveness from others.)

I'VE LEARNED that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief. (I've learned that even when you stop your own world because of depression and grief, the rest of the world goes on, but you don't!)

I'VE LEARNED that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we ultimately become.

I'VE LEARNED that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I'VE LEARNED that we show who we are by our actions.

I'VE LEARNED that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I'VE LEARNED that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I'VE LEARNED that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I'VE LEARNED that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt, sometimes by you, and you will hurt a great deal in the process.

I'VE LEARNED that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get further in life. (My point exactly!)

I'VE LEARNED that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is first self-control, then self-surrender.

I'VE LEARNED that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.

I'VE LEARNED that your life can be changed in a matter of hours, by people who don't even know you. (I've learned that sometimes, when that happens, it's not really about You, it's about something going on with the person that doesn't even know you!)

I'VE LEARNED that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I'VE LEARNED that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us. (Choose!)

I'VE LEARNED that credentials on the wall, adulation and the cheering of a crowd do not make you a decent human being.

I'VE LEARNED that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

I'VE LEARNED that although the word "love" can have many different meanings, it loses value when overly used.

I'VE LEARNED that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.

I'VE LEARNED that no matter how fast or how far you go, you can't outrun God.

I'VE LEARNED that no matter how far away I've been, He'll always welcome me back. (I've learned that True Friends will always welcome you back also!)

I'VE LEARNED that love is not for me to keep, but to pass on to the next person I see.

I'VE LEARNED that even if you do the right thing for the wrong reason, it's still the wrong thing to do.

I'VE LEARNED what the saying "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions means." Good intentions aren't enough, good action is required.

I'VE LEARNED that WRITING, as well as talking can ease emotional pain!

And the best part of all . . . I AM STILL LEARNING

As the dawn breaks . . .

Like most days in the last few years, it's 4:00 am and I'm awake and ready to start the day! Being an early riser isn't something that has always existed in my life, it showed up a few years ago when sleeping was something I didn't do much of. I now sleep like a baby, but the early rising has stayed with me. And I'm very happy that it has.

Years ago, a friend of mine lost someone very close to her, for months and months afterwards, she would wake up in a deep dark depression. I didn't get that at all, why would you wake up depressed, the dawning of a new day is the opportunity to "do things better, make things right." I didn't get that right up until the day that I lost my Daddy, suddenly, like my friend, I would wake up terribly depressed, unable to see any possibility in the day. Desperate to understand why that fog of depression was hanging over me in the mornings, I thought about it, I talked about it, I tried to ignore it, I punched at it, I smiled at it, I cried about it! I finally realized, when you've lost someone who is a piece of your heart and soul, your world will forever be tilted, there's no possibility of "doing things better, making things right" with that person, you have to figure out how to right your world without them. That piece of your heart and soul is simply gone, and it's depressing, until the fog of lose burns off and you are left with the Sunlight of the good memories and The Shadow of the Smile that meant so much!

Being a person who hears music in my head all the time, music is where I find comfort. My all time favorite songs come to mind when I think about those that I love, and clearing the fog that use to overtakes my wakings. The song that plays in my heart and head in the early morning when I think about my Daddy. "The Shadow of Your Smile." There is a line in that song that says "The Shadow of Your Smile, when you are gone, will color all my dreams and light the dawn . . ." In my opinion, no one has ever sung that song better than John Gary, not even the voice in my own head. Of all the voices in the world, John Gary's voice was the one voice that all the generations of my family had the biggest appreciation for. My mother was a fan, my sister Carlita and her daughter are fans, Rufus and her mother were fans, and I'm a fan. John Gary sang at my nieces wedding reception years ago, and after his show, The Princess spent the rest of the night, being carried around on his hip. The Princess was only 3 years old at time, dressed up in her flower girl dress, John Gary thought she was prettiest girl in the room, and he carried her around all night. The picture of John Gary holding the The Princess in his arms and dancing across the floor is one of my favorites, the Princess is probably a fan also! That might have been her first dance!

I had a wonderful relationship with my Daddy. I only have one regret, I don't think I ever truly found the words to Thank him for all he was to me, the words of a song that come closest to thanking the person who took me for crayons to perfume, are the words of "To Sir with Love."

The other song that has played in my head and lifted the fog so many times. "Sunlight." I guess I should say, a song by "Three Dog Night" but actually, as far as I'm concerned, it's a song by Chuck Negron (the voice I've always appreciated most), sung beautifully, without much of the rest of Three Dog Night. There's a line in that song that says "have you seen the Sunlight falling through her hair. . ." I feel my very best with the Sunlight falling through my hair, and there's another line that says "if you wake up screaming, scared about what you're dreaming, you know she is there, she can share, cause that's the way she feels about You." I'm at my best when I'm there for someone I care about! And, over the last few years, without those that were fearless about being there, when I woke up screaming, scared about what I was dreaming, they were there because that's the way they feel about me! I don't think I would have made it back to the "Sunlight." They were great fog lifters!

One of those people, knowing how much I love the dawn, sent me a picture of a recent dawning of one of her days. Here it is!

Here's what she said in the email when she sent this picture.

Good Morning,

We had a little fog this morning. Thought you might enjoy the pic of today's sunrise.

Thanks for sending this picture Hooper, it's a great shot of what's possible, if you live in the possibility of the day! "Sunlight" will burn-off the fog and leave you with "The Shadow of Your Smile" if you'll let it! There's nothing better than the shadow of the smile of someone you care about. The shadow of your smile is alive in my head right now Hooper, and, you are a charter member of my "Fog Lifter's Club."

Bright and shiny morning to all the members of my Fog Lifter's Club! Thank you for being my "Sunlight."

P.S. This is an unpaid commercial for the Voices that are also members of my Fog Lifter's Club.

John Gary, that beautiful voice, singing that beautiful song, is no longer with us, but, his music is still alive and well and can be purchased on amazon.com. "Yellow Bird up high in banana tree. . ." oops, sorry, John Gary moment in my head!

Chuck Negron is alive and well and still out there gracing the world with that incredible Voice of his! Be good to yourself, treat yourself to one of his live and lively shows, or purchase one of his SOLO CD's. Ok, ok, buy the CD that contains "Sunlight" also! Read his book Three Dog Nightmare, a book of inspiration no matter what caused your slip and fall! Purchase his CD's and book at www.negron.com or visit amazon.com.

Lulu, the voice I hear singing "To Sir with Love." Also alive and well and available on amazon.com.

I love this . . .

"You don't throw a life away just because it's been banged up a little."

Tom Smith, the horse trainer
who took Seabiscuit on,
played by Chris Cooper

The conversation . . .

What I got, for me, during the last several months.

I got a reminder of what it feels like to make promises you either can’t keep or really don’t want to keep. I got a reminder of what it feels like to possibly lose someone you care about because of that! I got a reminder of what it feels like to be "held accountable" when you’re pretending! I got a reminder of what it feels like to "pretend" because you don’t think you’re enough! I didn’t like any of those feelings and I’m never going to do anything to create those feelings again. I’m whole, complete and perfect, just like I am, I’m a stand for truly believing that about myself.

I also got what it feels like to have those that truly love you stand by you no matter what! I’m a very lucky girl to be loved so much by so many, I’m a stand for loving myself more than others love me! Not in an arrogant, selfish way, but in a way that gives others access to loving me even more! The authentic Me!

What I know for sure. I’ve worked very hard to get past the past, to come out of my depression, to be able to dress myself everyday (which wasn’t possible on some days in the past). I’m human, I’ve made mistakes and sometimes bad choices, and I’m sure I will again. Gotta have a breakdown to have a breakthrough, and those breakthroughs are wonderful and powerful. I’m a stand for letting go of the past and creating a bright and shiny Now and Future! There’s an old maxim that says "It’ll shine when it shines." You can’t make some things shine, no matter what you do. The only way to live a bright and shiny Now and Future is to always live your life from a place of being in integrity with yourself and others! A life of authenticity.

From this day forward, I’m a stand for Good Choices! What do good choices look like to me?

Taking better care of my physical self! Eating right, getting more exercise. Yikes, giving up the smokes once and for all!

Choosing to consider how my words and actions land in another’s world. Being more sensitive to others! After all, they are human too! I’m a stand for forgiving myself and others for being human!

Listening, Listening, Listening, really hearing the honesty in the words others speak. Seeing honesty in all my communications and "being" authentic and honest in all my communications. Being fearless about being who I really am, all the while listening, but not compromising my morals, convictions and principles to accommodate another!

I’m a stand for being an extraordinary Choozie Doozie!



P.S. Rufus, thank you for doing the very hard work you're doing and for sharing it with Me! I’m honored and thrilled to be part of the amazing transformation you're experiencing. It’s glorious! You're in the conversation, and it’s flowing around me!

At least Chrysler appreciates the comments of a "Crazy Lady"

Dear Mia:

Thank you for contacting the Chrysler Group Customer Assistance Center regarding the recent advertising campaign. Please be assured that we appreciate your insightful feedback regarding the current advertising initiative for Chrysler 300. Your opinion is very important and provides valuable input in determining what types of advertising will be created in the future and how advertising dollars should be spent. We understand your concern with this advertising and appreciate the time you took to express your opinion. Your dissatisfaction has been noted. Thank you again for your email.

Sincerely, Kara
Senior Staff Representative
Chrysler Group Customer Assistance Center

A "Crazy Lady" raised a "Crazy Lady"

In the continuing saga of the Princess thinks I'm a bit crazy, once again, two nights ago, she uttered those word to me after me telling her that I had blazed off a hot email to Chrysler about a commercial they are running on television! In that commercial a man's car is "traded" for a Chrysler without his knowledge. As he is driving the car, there's someone in the backseat filming his reactions to his "new traded" car. Of course, he discovers that his Chrysler is better than his old car. At the end of the commercial the person in the backseat says "We not only traded his old car for a new Chrysler, we traded his wife in for a younger fashion model." The camera pans to the passenger seat and sitting there is a much younger very beautiful girl! The driver looks into the camera and says "Thank you Chrysler!"

Completely insulted and offended by Chrysler's implication that it's ok to trade-in a wife for a younger model, I flew out of my bed and did, in fact, send Chrysler an email expressing my disappointment and disgust over that commercial. I know, you are thinking why would she got so upset over that? Never having been a wife that was traded in for a new model, and not being a Chrysler driver at the moment (I have owned 2 Chrysler's in the past), what's the big deal, it was meant to be funny. The Princess' comments ranged from "I guess it's an age thing, I don't get why that bothered You." "It was meant to be funny." "I'm sure Chrysler will feel threatened by your email (tongue in cheek) I'm sure they will pull that commercial just because of your email." All the while, she was laughing her head off and telling me that she does, in fact, think I'm a bit crazy!

So, why did I get so upset over that commercial? Because, even though I've chosen to be single most of life, and still have no desire to re-marry, I believe in the good old-fashioned traditions, morals and principles I was raised with. I don't think You have to be married to have a good life, but I also don't think it's appropriate to send the message that it's Ok to "trade a wife in for a newer model." I admire and respect those in my life who chose to marry and have stayed married, even though that wasn't something I did. I believe marriage is about more than sex and looking good. I believe it's about building a life together, weathering the storms as a couple, not something I ever did, but I admire those that have.

And now, to the comment that my one little email wouldn't make a difference! Talk about getting my motor running! We each and every one make a difference everyday. You may never know how far a kind comment or a show of a little human kindness will go, but it will go! I know that, in my life, I've had people tell me that a comment I made (which I made, didn't think about and thought was pretty insignificant) changed their life for the better. I also remember, during the days when I was truly "crazy", being in the grocery store and the checker looking at me and saying "You have beautiful eyes." That one little comment started a chain-reaction for me. After a few years of assaulting myself and being assaulted by others, I was desperate to go unseen, a miserable way to live life. That one little comment about something that someone found beautiful about me, reminded me of how truly blessed I am, it reminded me that I could be seen, and seen in a positive way.

So, I'll continue to be a "crazy lady." I'll feed stray cats and dogs, I'll give money to the homeless that stand on the corners with their signs (at least I know they'll have a meal today or a bottle of wine, they're on their own journey, not my place to judge them) and I'll continue to send my emails when I see or hear something that I feel is an insult to my beliefs. I'm on my own journey and I'll travel My Way! I do have support though!

Marian Edelman, the child rights activist, once wrote, 'We must not ever, in trying to think about and work on how we can make the biggest difference, ignore the smallest gestures and interactions we engage in, those daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee." -- Joan Chittister, in Becoming Fully Human

To read the ramblings of "another Crazy Lady" visit www.santasmoon.blogspot.com.

Hope you have a crazy, giving, have an opinion kind of day!

Is your soul whispering?

There are times in our lives when all the signs seem to be pointing us in a particular direction. Our thoughts and dreams are echoed in the songs and stories we hear. Maybe the message we are getting from the universe doesn’t even make sense in the “real” world, but somewhere inside, these urges feel right. When you spend time getting in touch with your self, your intuition sends you directives to lead you to become your best and most fulfilled self. And when you are open and listening, the next step is to take action and go for it. Once you make the decision to pursue your inner urgings, the universe sets into motion the means for all sorts of details to fall into place. A sense of peace will come over you, because you know that any questions will no longer make you wonder if your dreams are possible, but how to make them happen. Instead of deterring you from your goal, these questions only serve to clarify your focus to move you forward. You need not throw caution to the wind to follow your dream, like I have many times in the past. The positive shift in your energy affects everything around you. Like a rush of water, it goes ahead to clear debris from your path so that you can go forward. Your new attitude also attracts likeminded people. Sometimes even the most unlikely angels arrive to help you along your way with the information and support you need.

Wherever your dreams are pointing you today, take a step. Take action and manifest your inner urges and soul whisperings.

Attitude

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
Live simply,
Love generously,
Care deeply,
Speak kindly.......Leave the rest to God.

Post borrrowed from www.myspace.com/lisabravo

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Welcome to 2007, Ben Franklin Style Current mood: awake Category: Life
"Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of." I was not too surprised to discover slightly shortened version of this great quote, seen briefly on a sign outside of Twelve Oaks in "Gone With The Wind," is attributed to Benjamin Franklin, the 6th President of the United States and acknowledged discoverer of electricity. This quote is so profound that it stands on it's own with no elaboration, except that it has had special meaning for me as of late due to specific happenings in my life as well as events involving someone close to me. Although squandering time has always been one of my favorite past times, suddenly it seems less appropriate. I now lean closer to the sentiment of our 16th president, Abraham Lincoln who said "Things may come to those who wait...but only the things left by those who hustle."As a cynical optimist, I also still relate closely to the less known words of Ben Franklin, whose greatest quote may have been "Fart Proudly." These words also has had a lasting affect on my psyche, begining when I first heard the remark as a teenager. Although I don't literally break wind publicly and with smug glee, I have always put the practice to work figuratively by standing behind my tastes, convictions and even more importantly when coming to loyalty to friends. To remain in integrity, one must stand behind their beliefs and never be afraid to say what is true to their own self. I have never had much tolerance or interest in those so weak of mind or character that they bend like reeds in the wind to the tastes and convictions of others without pause or consideration of the results. It is never so important what others think as what you in your heart believe.To this end, I welcome the new year and urge everyone to fart proudly and do the hustle.
..
Currently listening : The Hustle & The Best Of Van McCoyBy Van McCoyRelease date: By 12 September, 1995

One very smart Cow!

Obviously this is one smart Cow! She's eating a watermelon! And, she's managed to achieve a beautiful shade of blondness! I Love watermelon and I love Cows!

The Only Autograph I Ever Asked For, or If You Had To What Would You?

Who do these eyes belong to? They belong to the Only person I've ever asked for an autograph, not because I wanted the autograph, but because it was an excuse to see her up close. Why? Well, girls sometimes do this thing, "I wish I had - - -'s legs, or - - - lips, or ---'s whatever. Rebuilding their bodies with someone's parts that they feel are superior to their own. I listened to those conversations, didn't participate, I always felt like I was pretty lucky to have what I had that was all my own. Then, one day a friend who was irritated by my lack of participation asked in a huffy manner "Well, if you HAD to look like someone else, who would it be?" I'd never thought about that before, but without hesitation, the name of the owner of these eyes popped out of my mouth! No one in the group knew who she was, as I explained who she was, I realized I knew more about her then I thought and I was a bit fascinated by her.

Who is she? She's Catherine Deneuve. A very successful French actress. Deneuve won an Academy Award for Indochine, was the Chanel No. 5 girl in the 80's and is still, today, a busy actress and a very beautiful woman!















I didn't realize until I made that statement, that Deneuve is truly my ideal of a beautiful woman. I became even more interested in her from that moment on. Something my friends don't know, after that conversation, whenever their was a foreign film showing in Houston starring Catherine Deneuve, off I'd go usually to a Saturday afternoon matinee to watch her on the big screen.

A few years later, Deneuve came out with her "own" fragrance. Oh my, Deneuve is promoting her fragrance and she's coming to Houston. Off I went, to stand in line, I didn't care about the autograph, I just wanted to see her up close. They were giving out beautiful booklets for her to autograph and you could buy her fragrance and she would sign the bottle cap with a gold sharpie (I still have that bottle)! Beautiful packaging!
When it came my turn, a bit embarrassed to be asking for an autograph, I handed her the booklet and asked that she autograph it for my daughter (Laran was way too young to even know who Deneuve was at that time). She signed it, then I handed her the fragrance and asked that she autograph the top for my daughter's mother. She got it and chuckled. (All during this exchange, I was looking into her eyes with surprise and amazement). I thanked her and as I started to walk away, she said in her very french accent "Excuse me" I turned, looked her in the eyes once again and she said "You have beautiful eyes!" Then, we both laughed and I said "So do you." At that moment, we were both looking into a pair of eyes that looked a whole like like our own! In her photographs, her eyes almost always look brown, but her eyes are green. Even greener then they appear above, as are mine. Deneuve's green eyes were a big surprise to me!
I love green eyes, I love the way she looks, I love her fragrance, I love her style. The below ad pretty much says it all about my style and Ms. Deneuve's!


Are you wondering why I told you all that? Well, because I wanted to!

P. S. In my pursuit for the perfect blondness, recently, my hair color has become more "Deneuve"! Sorry Locklear, you aren't nearly as classy as Deneuve!

Forty Licks

What a way to begin the New Year! Having never been a fan of the Rolling Stones, I was more than a little concerned when I woke up on December 30th looking like the poster child for the Rolling Stones Forty Licks Logo. Yep, that's right a sever infection had attacked my tongue. Off to the hospital I went. After 36 hours of intense antibiotics and steroids being dripped into my body, I finally, today, am beginning to feel like my self again! No offense intended to those die hard Rolling Stones fans, but I would have much preferred to start the New Year out as "Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds."