Hope Your 2007 Fireworks are Spectacular!

Live Each Day . . .

Another year gone by. It's difficult for me to believe that on January 15, 2007, my beloved Daddy will have been gone for 9 years! I still think about him everyday, I still miss him everyday. Thinking about him this New Year's Eve, my thoughts are more about all that he gave me that I'm so very grateful for. And I loved him more than words can tell. On my 18th birthday, he gave me a poem that he believed was a good road map for living life. I framed it and I kept it on my nightstand until the day that I passed it on to my Princess. I printed another one for myself and kept it close by. Unfortunately, I think my Dad would say I haven't read it enough these last 9 years. One of my New Year's resolutions . . . to read it everyday and to do my very best to live by it. I thought I'd share it with you and I hope you will make it part of your days too!

Live each day to the fullest. . .
Get the most from each hour, each day,
and each age of your life.
Then you can look forward with confidence,
and back without regrets.
Be yourself - but be your best self.
Dare to be different
and to follow your own star.
And don't be afraid to be happy.
Enjoy what is beautiful.
Love with all your heart and soul.
Believe that those you love,
love you.
When you are faced with decisions,
make that decision as wisely as possible -
then forget it.
The moment of absolute certainty
never arrives.
And above all else, remember that
God helps those who help themselves.
Act as if everything depended upon you,
and pray as if everything depended upon God.
-- S. H. Payer

Happy New Year one and all!

Starting the New Year Early - With One of those Interesting Faces I Love So Much!

Whose Interesting Face is this?

Who took this amazing photograph?

This face belongs to the daughter of a friend! The photograph was taken by my friend, her Mother! What an amazing face and photograph! To me, this photograph shows a face full of wonderment, excitement and happiness. If you want to know more about the person that possesses this fabulous face, go visit www.sugar-bliss.com. She's not just great to look at, she's talented and creative too! I know she gets at least part of her fabulous face, her talent, creativeness and I'm sure her great personality, from her Mother, I think her father possesses those things too!

Christmas has come and gone!

Here it is, December 26th, another Christmas has come and gone! This year, my holidays were, finally, enjoyable for me. After years of missing my Dad and Grandmother and thinking that the holidays would never again be as enjoyable for me without them, I'm happy to report that while I do and always will miss them, I loved Thanksgiving and Christmas this year! It was actually a bit surprising to me and to Santa too!

On Saturday night, at dinner, I found myself playing with Alexis and Paris (two of my step-granddaughters). Being playful is something I haven't done much of these last few years. Alexis and I actually had a conversation (she'll be 5 soon) about "slime" there's a new kind out, it's different from the old "slime" it has bumps in it! And, more than once, I saw Paris justing standing or sitting looking at me (she's 3). She was probably thinking "Oh my goodness Spicy actually talks and laughs!" I haven't interacted with this children much until that night. I loved every minute of it and it's just the beginning of a whole lot more of playing with those children.

On Christmas Eve, Laran and I went to Candle Light service at the beautiful old Methodist Church on the SMU campus, the service was beautiful, the church is beautiful and everyone there was in the spirit. Laran hadn't ever been to candlelight service before and it was an incredible gift to have her next to me for her first one. Going to candlelight service on Christmas Eve is my new tradition. Christmas Eve, my parents arrived, I was happy to see them! After a recent conversation with "The Princess" www.santasmoon.blogspot.com I've had a whole new attitude toward my mother, and for Christmas I gave her a book about "Love" inside the book of quotes and comments about Love, I wrote my own book to her about the love I want to share with her. I showed her more of myself in my writings then I ever have before, I'm going to give her all the love I can, so she'll have plenty to give me back! And, of course, along with her came my jewel of a step-father, a wonderful man, kind, loving, gentle man. We had a great dinner prepared by The Chef, friends came to visit for dessert and I was off to bed early to get ready for Santa's arrival the next morning.

Christmas Morning, Santa had been there with great stuff, breakfast prepared by The Princess and then gifts were exchanged with family! The Chef had written The Princess a book of instructions for receiving her gifts, it was great fun to watch as she discovered her stuff. It's a wonderful feeling to know that her husband loves her so much!

Then back to Houston with a smile on my face, all the while thinking about my most treasured gift. Laran and Greg chose two charities to give to this season. The North Dallas Food Bank and The Smile Foundation! They made donations in honor of some of us to one of those charities. The donation in my honor was made to The Smile Foundation! And Smile I did during the holiday and the coming year will bring more Smiles from me. It's a gift indeed to be able to smile without a flaw and to look around my family and see their smiling faces. I'm honored and pleased that I had a donation made to The Smile Foundation for me! My charity for this season was the Susan Koman Breast Cancer Foundation.

Hope all of you have a Smiling New Year!

Make New Friends but Keep the Old

I had a wonderful converation with a friend last night that's been missing from my life for a while. I've missed her everyday. After our conversation, she emailed me some pictures she took on a recent trip to Ireland. As always, her pictures are incredible. Her photographs are better then most professionals.

I decided to post this particular picture because I'm so grateful that the road I'm on in my life has led me back to her! Nothing can lift my spirits like hearing her giggle! Welcome back, my friend!

Making My Own Way

My memories of Christmas have always been and still are a bit of a shaky experience. As a child, before my parents divorced, I remember waking up very early Christmas morning to see what Santa had brought, only to be told almost immediately to choose one thing to take with me and then it was into the car for the 4 hour drive to Dallas to celebrate Christmas at my two grandmothers' houses. (Christmas was about my parents being with their parents on Christmas). After my parents divorced, my biggest memory of Christmas is the time spent late on Christmas Eve sitting in a car on a dark parking lot half way between the Grandmother's houses, waiting to be picked up by whichever parent had possession on Christmas Day (those parking lots were cold, dark and lonely places).

Once I was old enough to decide what I wanted my Christmas to look like, I stayed in my own Home! Santa Claus coming down the chimney to visit my Princess. Cooking Christmas Dinner for my Daddy and Grandmother, I loved those Christmases, I miss those Christmases. Now that my Princess is married (and ironically has chosen to live in Dallas), and my Daddy and Grandmother have taken up residence in the Heavens Above, I'll be on the road, in a car once again this Christmas.

In a conversation with my Princess last night, she was asking me questions, is this ok, absolutely, is that ok, I don't know. I don't know for sure want I want to do yet. And, there are some moments of this holiday season that I truly don't know yet what I want them to look like. But, here's what I do know.

I'm looking forward to being in my Lincoln headed north to be with my Princess and her Prince. I'm very pleased to be spending an evening with Brett, Tiffany, Alexis and Paris! I'm looking forward to some really good pictures of those people that I love so much. It's an amazing thing, I've always felt very close to the Princess and her half-sister Shelly, but evidently, in so way, Laran's half-brother Brett, I think may have missed me too while I was missing during my dark, dark days. Whenever we're all together now, he stays close and on more than one occasion, he's told me how happy he is that I'm back and how proud he is of the fight I waged to get back. Brett has even begun to ask questions about all that went on during that time. "Why did you go away?" I'm happy about that, I want him to know whatever he needs to know about that time in my life. There is a new, gentle love and acceptance between the two of us, and I love that it's there!

I'm going to Candlelight Service on Christmas Eve at the beautiful Methodist Church on the SMU campus. I'll spend Christmas Eve with the Princess, her Prince, my Mother, my Step-father and others that Laran has invited to join up. Christmas Morning, Santa and Breakfast, the rest of Christmas Day is the question. Where do I want to be, who do I want to be with, what do I want that day to look like? I just don't know yet. What I do know though is that I'll be grateful for all the love I've felt and still feel in my heart for those that are gone and those that are still here. I'll be grateful for all the things I don't have that I don't want and I'll be grateful for all that I've had and do have that I do want! Christmas Day, I'll love me, in whatever way the mood requests.

And, speaking of the mood, I'll see you next year, which will be the next time I'll be sitting her. I wish you a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year and most of all Christmas Kisses from those You Love! God Bless, May you celebrate this Christmas Season in Grace!

Ahhhhhh!

"Being loving doesn't mean you have to be soft and weak. Being understanding doesn't mean you don't ever draw the line. Being accepting doesn't mean you don't identify and correct mistakes." -- Christopher Moors

Who are these Interesting Faces????

They are Princess Laran, her half-sister, Shelly and her half-brother Brett! Shelly and Brett have been in my life since Shelly was 8 and Brett was 4! They were kind enough to let me "practice" being a mother before I had my Princess Daughter! They even ate my "hot, spicy" food without complaint!

I'm happy to report that all three of these people that I've loved so much for so long, have become happy, successful people that anyone would be privileged to know!

Thanks guys for being all that you are and for making me so very proud! I love you all madly!!!!! Mamma Mia, The Spicy Meatball

Hmmmmmmm!

"To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems totally hopeless." -- Gilbert K. Chesterton

A Vision To Live By

Go for what you want…in spite of the evidence.
Remove the muzzle and be authentically YOU.
Approach every "problem" as an opportunity.
Make your enemies your friends.
Know that you're doing the best you can (for now).
Recognize that you're enough.
Express gratitude by giving fully and freely.
Invite into your life only what you really want.
Live as if there are no wrong moves.
Choose beliefs that lead to happiness, love and God.
Encourage the miraculous by believing in the "impossible."

A Reason, A Season And a Lifetime!

It's true, some people show up in your life for a "reason" others for a "season" and some for a "lifetime." Then, you meet someone who is a "reason" a "season" and a "lifetime." I'd like to introduce you to one of those people in my life!

Her name is Cindy, she lives in New York, I met her in 1969, yep 1969! The Reason - she was the only real friend I made while there (once Cindy showed up, I didn't need anyone else). Cindy was one of the "reasons" that time of my life was so wonderful. Cindy was so very different from me, but became a very large part of my heart. We were both in a hurry, during that "season" to grow up and do our own thing! Cindy and I were commuting from Staten Island to Manhattan (I'm sure we were quite a pair, running onto that ferry to get the best "smokin" seats, Cindy, petite, long black flowing hair, me, the tall Texas with blonde hair down to there). One of my very favorite movies was made years later by Mike Nicols, "Working Girl", I love that movie, it reminds me of Us!

Cindy had a birthday last week, I sent her an email birthday card. A couple of days went by, no response. My world began to feel a bit tilted! Where is she? I send an email, "Cin, where are you, are you out there? I'm getting a bit scared, I haven't heard from you. "

Cindy writes back "Thanks for the wishes, I know I'm always in your thoughts! I was in Bermuda!" Ahhhh! All is right with my world again, she's right there!

When someone shows up in your life that is a "reason" a "season" and a "lifetime" they take up residence in your heart, and they dwell there forever! I got an email from her this morning with some pictures attached. Cindy says: "You will love this picture of my sister, my daughter and me. I'm so conservative." I have news for you Cin, I'm a bit conservative too! Something no one would have accused either of us of being all those years ago! Thanks for picture, I do love it, and I love you too!

While thinking about a recent event in my own life and after having a lenghty conversation with someone I've cared about for a long time yesterday, I woke up this morning thinking about how people (myself included) will hang on to a situation or a relationship even with the knowledge that it's not a relationship that's good for them or that works for their life. It's hard to let go and make a change in our lives. It's difficult to look in a different direction, it sometimes seems easier to "overlook" then to accept and let go. And, as so often happens, Mr. Spivey's message this morning landed right in the middle of my thinking. Thought I'd share part of it with you.

"Whether in your relationship with your Creator (the Big Kahuna of life issues), your marriage (certainly the hardest relational "assignment" there is), your parenthood (enough to make you crazy at times), your family of origin (why you might be crazy to begin with), your friendships and community life (like there's really any time for that), or your professional "work" or service "calling" (the thing we tend to put first so that we can have at least an occasional feeling of competence), we have to always be willing to look at the possibility that we have somehow gotten it all wrong with our best ideas and efforts, that we just might be totally off base, lulled into a false sense of security (or insecurity, strangely enough) by our own fragile ego and way of thinking. It is usually only then that we are in a position to change significantly for the better, and, sadly, we usually need to be beaten up pretty good by life and by the ramifications of our choices before we will ever acknowledge this possibility of being dead wrong - about situations, ourselves, and/or others - and accept change for our own good. We definitely are stubborn about it, but once we wake up and let go, it is truly amazing what God can do with our whole lives (saving us and benefitting others as He sees fit), vs. our tattered leftovers (where we tried to save ourselves, and it both killed us and benefit no one)." --Jim Spivey