My Goal for today and everyday!

Is to be more into the present moment. To honor the gift of my life, and to honor the people around me by being more fully present. When you are fully present in the present moment, you give and receive aliveness in equal measure. For today and everyday, I'm going to be fully present in my daily activities. I know a new reality will open for you when you are fully present in the moment.

Those Interesing Faces, Again!

Not just faces a Mother could love, but faces that Anyone could Love!!!!

What makes my world go round!

It's a another beautiful morning in my town. My morning started early with a phone call, while it was still very dark outside. My sister, Ruthie, calling, unable to sleep wanting to talk, while we were still on the phone, my other line rang, another sister, C-Lita, wanting some advise. I have to admit that some days, my siblings and parents fall into the category of "I'd like to pinch their heads off." I'm sure I fall into that category with them on some days also. But, the reality is, I'm so fortunate to have each and everyone of them in my life. They are each unique and special people with their own ideas, behaviors and style. And, when I tell the truth, I love them all madly!

Recently, Ruthie asked me to list my 10 favorite things and it couldn't be people. That was a difficult thing for me to do because most of my favorite things are people. Today, I'm making the rules about my favorite things and, here are some of them.

1. The Princess and her Prince
2. My family (Ruthie, C-Lita, Penalope, Baba, GeGe, Bite Me Boy, Oh Yea and Wonderful Uncle Eddie)
3. CoCo and Thumper and Moo Moo
4. Books
5. Music
6. Candles
7. Bubble Baths
8. Cartier
9. A well dressed bed
10. Jamaica
11. Good Coffee
12. Black Dresses
13. Silk, silk, silk
14. Children's Books - Here is just a small sample of why:

The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper: "Puff, puff, chug, chug, went the Little Blue Engine. 'I think I can—I think I can—I think I can—I think I can . . .'"

I Like Myself by Karen Beaumont: "I like myself! I'm glad I'm me. There's no one else I'd rather be."

Oh, the Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss: "You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act."

15. Boxes, Boxes, Boxes (So I can put my troubles inside and "Sit on the Lid and Laugh")
16. Crystal
17. Pizza
18. Purple Bowls
19. All the Charlies that are in my life or have been in my life in the past (You will have to read the book to understand what that means or, know me Really well to get it.)
20. And last, and most, my favorite "Charlie" of all, My Perfect Precious Incredible Daddy!

There you have it, 20 of my very favorite things. What are Your favorite things? Hope you have a marvelous day!

Some would say that my passionate termperament and questioning mind has almost driven them crazy.

I agree with Kay Redfield Jamison, author of "An Unquiet Mind," that “intense experience and suffering instruct us in ways that less intense emotions can never do . . . and that those who have particularly passionate temperaments and questioning minds leave the world a different place for their having been there.”

Myself by Edgar Albert Guest

I have to live with myself and so
I want to be fit for myself to know.
I want to be able as days go by
always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don't want to stand with the setting sun
and hate myself for the things I have done.
I don't want to keep on a closet shelf
a lot of secrets about myself
and fool myself as I come and go
into thinking no one else will ever know
The kind of person I really am,
I don't want to dress up myself in sham.
I want to go out with my head erect
I want to deserve all men's respect;
but here in the struggle for fame and wealth
I want to be able to like myself.
I don't want to look at myself and know that
I am bluster and bluff and empty show.
I never can hide myself from me;
I see what others may never see;
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself and so,
whatever happens I want to be
self respecting and conscience free.

I wish I had learned this lesson long ago, and I wish I was better about it now! Knowing doesn't always make it easier to practice it!

We have all heard the instructions of an airline attendant reminding us to put on our own oxygen mask before we help anyone else with theirs. This advice is often cited as a metaphor for self-care because it so accurately expresses why it is important. It seems to say, ironically, that if you can't take care of yourself for yourself, do it for others. Few situations in our daily lives mimic the wake-up call of an airplane emergency, so it's easy to keep putting self-care off-easy, that is, until we get sick, overwhelmed, or exhausted, and suddenly don't have the energy to care for the people who count on us. That's when we realize we haven't been getting the oxygen we need to sustain ourselves. We begin to understand that taking care of ourselves is neither selfish nor indulgent; it's just plain practical.

Putting yourself first means that it may be necessary to say no to someone else in order to say yes to yourself. For many of us, there is always something we feel we could be doing for someone else, and it helps to remember the oxygen metaphor. You can even encourage yourself by saying "I am caring for myself so that I am better able to care for others" or some other mantra that will encourage you. It also helps to remember that self-care doesn't have to be composed of massively time-consuming acts. In fact, the best prescription for taking care of yourself is probably small, daily rituals; for example, taking one half-hour for yourself at the beginning and end of the day to meditate, journal, or just be. You might also transform the occasional daily shower or bath into a half-hour self-pampering session.

Whatever you decide, making some small gesture where you put yourself first every day will pay off in spades for you and the ones you love. The oxygen you need is all around you; sometimes you just need to be reminded to breathe.

And, so it goes!

Today is my x-husband's 60th birthday! Ouch! Sure am glad I'm not as old as he is. I hope he has a wondeful day though, I never thought either of us would ever get to be as old as we are!

Thank you!

For your responses to yesterdays post. All of the responses were enlightening and some of the ones that I received "under cover" should be out there for public reading. I'm very happy to know I'm not alone in this fear thing, it makes it not as overwhelming. But, it also really sucks to discover that, in somethings, we are not so unique (you know me, I love that unique thing). But, it is also truly wonderful to know we are all in this together, together is good! Have a Great Day!

Fear and Confusion

After reading the following, I would love to hear your comments!!!! Don't be shy, give me your thoughts, do you agree, disagree, whatever?

Anything worth doing always has some fear attached to it. For example, having a baby, getting married, changing careers-all of these life changes can bring up deep fears. Can that fear be a good thing? It is your way of questioning whether you really want the new life these changes will bring. It is also a potent reminder that releasing and grieving the past is a necessary part of moving into the new.

Fear has a way of throwing us off balance, making us feel uncertain and insecure, but it is not meant to discourage us. Its purpose is to notify us that we are at the edge of our comfort zone, poised in between the old life and a new one. Whenever we face our fear, we overcome an inner obstacle and move into new and life-enhancing territory, both inside and out. The more we learn to respect and even welcome fear, the more we will be able to hear its wisdom, wisdom that will let us know that the time has come to move forward, or not. While comfort with fear is a contradiction in terms, we can learn to honor our fear, recognizing its arrival, listening to its intelligence, and respecting it as a harbinger of transformation. Indeed, it informs us that the change we are contemplating is significant, enabling us to approach it with the proper reverence.

You might wish to converse with your fear, plumbing its depths for a greater understanding of the change you are making. You could do this by sitting quietly in meditation and listening or by journaling. Writing down whatever comes up-your worries, your sadness, your excitement, your hopes-is a great way to learn about yourself through the vehicle of fear and to remember that fear almost always comes alongside anything worth doing in your life.

Ahhh! That thing called "fear" it can be motivating or paralyzing. A relationship with fear is new to me. Some would say I've always been fearless, for the last few years, I've been fearful. What does that mean and has does fear land for You, does it motivate or paralyze?

My Quest for Spirituality

Spirituality, a mystical, what does it mean kind of word. So much more than a word, an emotion, a quest and the most precious thing a human being can experience. I'd like to tell you a little about the roads I traveled to find mine.

I've always been a person of traditional values; God, Country, Apple Pie and Dad. I was raised in a home that required attendance at the First Christian Church every single Sunday. The existence of God was never a question for me, I always believed He was there. My quest was for my spirituality, some kind of relief in the darkest time of my life. I was unable to function, I was only existing in my self-imposed world of solitude and depression. God stepped in and he led me to more source material then I ever knew existed. He was desperate to help me.

Book stores are a special place to me, I've always loved books. When I was able to actually dress myself and get out of my house, I'd head to the book store and stay for hours. Books began to fall off of the shelves and into my hands. First, the philosophy of the the Toltec Indians. Very old philosophy that's been passed down from generation to generation by word of mouth and now has thankfully been committed to writing. What is the philosophy? Basically, Four Agreements, if you live by the Four Agreements, you will find your true spirituality. The Four Agreements are:

Be impeccable with your word;
Never make assumptions;
Don't take anything personally; and
Always do and be your best.

Back in the book store, another unexpected book, "When It All Falls Apart". A book based on what some see as a religion, but what I see as a philosophy, Buddhism. The Buddhist teachings propose no deity, The Buddha is not a "god" only a messenger with wisdom about living life. The wisdom imparted in Buddhists teaching is not about religious faith, it's about getting in touch with the "Buddha" of your own soul. "Spiritual" in Buddhism means living with basic human good qualities: human affection, a sense of involvement, honesty, discipline and human intelligence properly guided by good motivation.

A gift from a friend, continued my quest, "The Holy Bible." A book so vast, so complicated, yet so simple. A book that encompasses all of the philosophy of the Toltec Indians and the Buddhist. A book with all the wisdom and lessons any human being could ever need to live a life they love. The most powerful book to read in a quest to spirituality.

In conclusion, my absolute truth, there is only one God. My God is so powerful, wise and wonderful that since the beginning of time, he has shared his wisdom with all the men of the world. Call it what you will, Buddhism, lessons of the Indians. My God is responsible for all the wisdom of the world. While all the knowledge I gained on my quest is of great value, knowing my God is my real access to spirituality.

Wearing the Past.

You should not suffer the past. You should be able to wear it like a loose garment, take it off and let it drop.

-Eva Jessye

Live Life!

"For the longest time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt still to be paid. And maybe then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life." -- Alfred D'Souza

I do, therefore, I am

After a couple of unsettling weeks that were all about "doing" not simply "being" I have managed to get back to what I want most in life. I want to "be" who I really am without having to "do" anything to prove it. Being is the only thing that matters.

Nowadays, people don't ask you how you are, they say, 'Are you busy?' meaning, 'Are you well?' If someone actually does ask you how you are, the most cheerful answer, of course, is a robust 'Busy!' to which the person will reply 'Good! "Busy' used to be a negative sort of word. It meant having no time for yourself, no leisure. 'No, I can't come out this weekend, I'm too busy.' Sorry about that, you poor stiff. Now, though, busyness is bullish. Conspicuous industriousness is the rule.
"Conspicuous industriousness" is fancy talk for chasing your own tail. This is the habit of rushing around frantically and feeling quite noble even when you go nowhere fast. Equipped with cell phones, beepers, and handheld computers, the "conspicuously industrious" blur the line between home and office by working anytime, anywhere. Always on call, they make a perverse case for the argument that work isn't a part of life, but rather that life is a part of work. They embody the new twenty-first century ideal--"I do, therefore I am."

And whether they know it or not, they are competitors in the rat race. Constantly busy, moving at breakneck speed, they wake, work, earn, spend, shovel down food, and collapse--only to begin the same vicious cycle over again the next day. Never knowing which end is up, they live according to the "Rules of the Rat Race," an unwritten code of conduct that says you should:

1. Bite off more than you can chew.
2. Act as if enough is never enough.
3. Chase your tail and run to stand still.
4. View life as a part of work, instead of work as a part of life.

These days, people think "doing" makes them who they are. They discover that when the "doing" situation changes they are at a loss, they have no real knowledge of who they are or what "being" really means. Doing to be liked, doing to be needed, doing to get attention, doing to feel important. But, never knowing that their being is crying to be heard.

Being is about needing because you love or like. Doing is about seeking love or like or what you need to survive the Rat Race. I welcome the return of my being with all my heart.

"Spit in one hand and "want" in the other and see which one fills up fastest!" Zelma

We know we are "off track" by the degree of our "wanting" - whatever that desire is for - whether it be acclaim, love, money, pain relief, power, security, sex, stuff, etc. If you are alive and breathing and reasonably healthy, all has been given already. The work of life is to fully receive the gifts with appreciation and praise, and then to let them flow out of you with total gusto. - Spivey

Words for Today!

Renew Your Glitter!

That "someplace else" can be exciting or dangerous!

If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

-Yogi Berra

Love Them Anyway!

I'm sure that everyone who reads my blog has read this somewhere, sometime, more than once. It never hurts to be reminded though, I can certainly use this reminder.


People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered,
LOVE THEM ANYWAY

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives,
DO GOOD ANYWAY

If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies,
SUCCEED ANYWAY

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow,
DO GOOD ANYWAY

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable,
BE HONEST AND FRANK ANYWAY

What you spent years building may be destroyed overnight
BUILD ANYWAY

People really need help but may attack you when you help them
HELP PEOPLE ANYWAY

Give the world the best you have and you'll get disparaged and ridiculed
GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU'VE GOT ANYWAY.

Adapted from the book "A Simple Path" by Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Lamentations, Longings and Grief

He who seeks happiness should withdraw the arrow; his own lamentations, longings and grief. With the arrow withdrawn, unattached, he would attain to peace of mind; and when all sorrow has been transcended he is sorrow-free and has realized Nirvana.

Ain't it the Truth.

In the popular phrase, "Some days you eat the bear, and some days the bear eats you.", beware the bear that is "inside" you. We are under constant attack by an enemy that hides within us, intertwined with our egos, laying in wait for our next moment of carelessness, callousness, cockyness, sloppiness, sureness, unconsciousness, and then WHAM!, we wonder why we are left smoldering in the rubble of our shattered integrity. --Spivey

Being Me!

"Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway." --Elbert Hubbard (borrowed from "Love Them Anyway"

For most of my life, I didn't feel the need to "explain, validate or justify" my beliefs or actions. I just "did" what was right and good for me. I've somehow found my way back to that place, only, it seems, I'm becoming more that way then ever before. But, the fear that runs now, that didn't exist before, is the fear of hurting others because of that refusal to "explain, validate or justify". But, when I try to explain, validate and justify my actions or the process of getting to where I want to go, it doesn't feel real to me. As the quote says your "friends" don't need it and your "enemies won't believe you anyway."

So, I want to take this opportunity to say, I'm not going to edit, rehearse, perform or hide anything, I'm not going to explain, validate or justify my actions or being who I am. Just know, along this road, it's not about You, it's me being who I truly am, going where I need to go.

"The visionary is the one who brings his or her voice into the world 'as is' and who refuses to edit, rehearse, perform, or hide it. It is the visionary who knows that the power of creativity is aligned with bold authenticity."
--Angeles Arrien