Mia Speaks

Mia Speaks

This morning, I wrote an email to my CoCo and I realized after writing it that part of it was how I felt during the holidays and how I still feel today, so here's today's blog!

This year is the first year, since I lost my Dad on January 15, 1998 (which unfortunately is CoCo's Birthday), while I still miss him every single day, the holiday season has not been overshadowed by those feelings of missing him. I have more peace within now then I've ever had before. On Christmas Eve I went to Church alone, I was early and had some time to myself, before the maddening crowd arrived. I sat in the sanctuary and reflected on all those that are no longer in my life because of death or otherwise. My Grandmother (the real Mother that raised me), My Dad, Judy, Steve Oaks, Bill Honey. . . just to name a few, and those that are not in my life by choice, mine or theirs. What I got from my reflections, is how truly Blessed I have been to have loved so very much and so many! "Better to have Loved and Lost then never to have loved at all!" During those reflections, I even got to a place of "No Regrets" with all that's gone on in the last several years of my life. I don't regret the Passion and Commitment I felt or all that I did to make things better in the world. I only regret that my passion cost me and others so much and that it got lost in a swirl of diminished mental capacities. But, I don't regret feeling all that passion, I don't regret being someone who is willing to March into Hell for someone I love or a cause I believe in. I know where to buy those asbestos boots now!!! If that kind of passion ever shows up for me again, I'll go with it with all my might, with those boots firmly on my feet! So, in my heart, I joyfully celebrate all the opportunities I've had to love and be loved and my hope for 2006 is to be even better about loving and allowing myself to be loved.

Amazing as it is, my true meaning hasn't even arrived yet. My Precious Princess Daughter and her Prince Charming will be in town on January 6 to celebrate, so I still have wonderful moments to look forward to. I may actually become someone who likes to "take" pictures don't think I'm to the point of wanting to have my picture "taken" yet. Maybe next year!

Happy Christmas and the Best New Year Ever!