The perfect quote to remember in the New Year!

"Forgiveness doesn't change the past, but it does enlarge the future." -- Paul Boese

The weekend . . .

Last Saturday morning, my sister and I headed north on I-45 like we have so many times in the past for so many different reasons! To visit family, friends or to hang with our favorite singers (luckily we don't have the same "favorite" singer)! Last Saturday we headed north to hang with some of my favorite people, The Princess, Her Prince and my precious Princess Granddaughter, Rylee Claire O'Neill! The weather was beautiful, the time in the car with my sister passed so quickly that minutes after leaving home, we were arriving at the T Room for lunch! Yum, Yum, Yummy!!!!

The strangest past of the weekend for me, I found myself wanting to "look" at Rylee Claire O'Neill, just look at her, gaze at her, feast my eyes on her! A feast for the eyes she is, but I think part of that wanting to "look at her" is a little bit of the same feeling that I've always had about her mother, she came from me, she's a part of me, but there she is, a whole, complete, perfect person all on her own! It's all a bit of a mystery to me! But, I believe "knowing" that and "feeling" that, allowed me to step back at times and let my daughter become her own whole, complete, perfect person all on her own. In doing so, I've spent 30 years being amazed and awed by the existence of the person that came from me, is a part of me and all that she has achieved in her life and the person she has become. One thing is for sure, my Princess Daughter has become a whole, complete and perfect Mother all on her own!!!!! Feast your eyes on what has come through her!! Watching Rylee is a whole lot of fun!!!

Oh Yeah!

“You can either hold yourself up to the unrealistic standards of others, or ignore them and concentrate on being happy with yourself as you are.” ―Jeph Jacques

Get ready to Vote, Vote and then, Vote!!! The longer she's on the show, the happier I'll be!!!!!

A sense of dismay . . .

The recent controversy about President Obama addressing school children has gotten my blood boiling like nothing has in a very long time! This country, that I have always been so very proud of, is made up of a variety of political view, religions, cultures and flavors! That has always been one of the things I love the most about this country! But this past week has made me question the segment of our population that seems to have a problem with the man that was elected President of this country speaking to their children. Being a mother and recently becoming a grandmother, I hope that I've taught my child and will one day play a part in teaching my grandchild about critical thinking! There have always been and will always be differences of opinions and, Thank God for that! I don't always want to eat vanilla ice cream, no matter how good Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla is, I want the opportunity to choose and I think I have taught my child to choose!

The one thing that has been consistent in my beliefs is a belief in respect, for this country and all that represents this country to me! The reaction by some to the President of the United States addressing their children shows a complete lack of respect whether you agree with his politics or not, he is the President of this country. It's dismaying and disturbing that so many parents in this country spend so little time educating their own children that they are fearful about what they might hear!!! I think it's one more example of parents not taking responsibility for what they have brought into our world! I grew up with a father that I pretty much agreed with on almost everything. On the other hand, their is a part of my family that I don't agree with on anything, not politics, not religion, not even the best flavor of ice cream! But, I have a family that have never been afraid to think for theirselves! We were taught that by our parents and, most of us don't think like our parents! We are a family of Democrats, Republicans, Christians, Catholics, Buddhists, blondes, brunettes, blue-eyed, green-eyed, brown-eyed, vanilla loving, chocolate loving mixture of America! The discussions can get heated, but the feeling of love never leaves and a sense of respect is always present and no one is afraid that they can't Teach Their Own Children Well and no one, and I mean no one would suggest that listening is ever a bad thing! As a matter of fact, the art of listening is one of the most loving things an individual can do! So, America, take responsibility, teach your children to listen and to be unique and special, teach them the art of critical thinking! Don't narrow their vision, broaden their horizons, let them be theirselves!!!!!

As for my favorite flavor!


But sometimes, I indulge my taste buds and have Blue Bell - The Great Divide - 1/2 creamy Vanilla and 1/2 Milk Chocolate! Imagine that!

AND, READ THE BOOK!!!!

I love Giraffes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The new baby at the Houston Zoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Blessings . . .

I'm going to go see one of my favorite red-heads Saturday Night!

Smile . . .

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, whats the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

Words by john turner and geoffrey parsons and music by charlie chaplin

Isn't she lovely, made from love!

Please show your support . . .

By going to http://musicfirstcoalition.org/ and doing what you need to do! Thanks.

I loved reading this book . . .

"The Secret Life of Bees . . ."

"The first week at August's was a consolation, a pure relief. The world will give you that once in a while, a brief timeout; the boxing bell rings and you go to your corner, where somebody dabs mercy on your beat-up life."

Thinking about tomorrow . . .

In 1969, I was living in New York City. One of the best years of my life. A year of feeling freer and safer then ever before and, in some ways ever since. While those of my generation were losing their lives in the war in Vietnam, I was enjoying a feeling of complete freedom and safety. While I never have and never will support war as an answer, the men and women who are willing to take a stand for this country by going where they are told to go and putting their lives in danger for our freedoms will always have my absolute complete support and gratitude.

It's interesting what our minds hang on to that we may not even realize is simmering there. Along my journey to mental wellness, I've read and read and read anything and everything I could find to help me on my way. It's interesting that the books that I've read that have given me the most help were written by a Zen Buddhist Monk who was born and raised in Vietnam, Thich Nhat Hanh. During the Vietnam war, he attended the Paris Peace Accords and thereafter was refused entry into his own country for supporting the Peace Accords. Thich Nhat Hanh was nominated for a Noble Peace Prize by Martin Luther King for his commitment to world peace. His writings are about creating peace through mindfulness. Being mindful of your words, your actions and your surroundings. Peace begins within each of us. Has the war of my generation been simmering in my mind all these years? Is that why I've been so drawn to this monk for answers? Does it help to know that there were those in Vietnam who were taking a stand against a war that caused so many to lose so much? Maybe so. What I know for sure, I'm grateful for Thich Nhat Hanh, his stand for Peace and his willingness to share that stand with the world no matter what it cost him.

Yesterday, with Memorial Day on my mind, I watched one of my all time favorite movies. A Few Good Men . . . there is a line in that movie that, yesterday, brought tears to my eyes . . . Demi Moore is asked, about the 2 Marines on trial . . . "Why do you like them so much?" She responds "Because they stand on a wall and they say 'nothing is going to hurt you tonight, not on my watch.'"

And so, this morning, I thank all those who have taken a stand for Peace by being peaceful and those who have been willing to "stand on a wall and say 'nothing is going to hurt you tonight, not on my watch.'" Maybe one day, all the citizens of the world will choose the way of Thich Nhat Hanh and find their own peace within and there will then be no reason for anyone to "stand on a wall and say 'nothing is going to hurt you tonight, not on my watch.'"

Tomorrow will be a day of peaceful reflection for me. A day of respect for those lost in all the wars, but especially the war of my generation. A day of mindfulness about what Vietnam cost me and a day of gratitude for what Vietnam has brought me.

God Bless America. Have a safe and mindful Memorial Day.

Hmmmmmmm!

Man: Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken.
Psychiatrist: Well, why don’t you turn him in?
Man: I would, but I need the eggs.

- Woody Allen

Mother's Day Reflections

This pretty picture is from the Mother's Day card that was sent to me by my Princess Daugher, Laran, her husband Greg, their soon to be Princess Daughter Rylee Claire and their two sons (their dogs) Doby and Yankee! The Princess and I actually celebrated Mother's Day last Saturday, a trip to the beauty salon, makeup by YSL and lunch at Neimans. It was a fun day! Thanks Princess for the day, for the card and for being a very special You!

Last weekend, at a baby shower given for The Princesses (Laran and Rylee) by some close friends of Laran, Laran gave all the Hostesses, Hostess Gifts and she gave me a gift also. Part of my gift was a beautiful, jeweled Peacock picture frame which contained a quote she had chosen to put in the frame. Here's the quote. . .

"First of all she is my Mother, with a capital 'M';

she's something sacred to me.

I love her dearly...

She is also a good friend, someone I can talk openly with."

-- Sophia Loren

The quote is absolutely correct, First of all, I am Laran's Mother! Being given the gift of being "Laran's Mother" is what I love most about being Me! While raising Laran, I was always her Mother First, she always had lot's of friends but she only had one Mother. I always wanted to be what every child needs most, her Mother. Along the way we became friends which I don't believe would have happened if I hadn't been her Mother First!

While sitting here this morning, my own Mother pulls up in front of my house and honks (which I've asked her not to do at least 10 times, it makes Sunny crazy). Usually her honking irritates the crap out of me. But, this morning, it kinda made me giggle! I found a part of my own Mother to love in that honk this morning! My Mother is going to be who she is, she's going to do what she does and she's going to honk her horn no matter what! (Maybe that's where I got the part of me that's going to be me no matter what!) I went out to see what she wanted and what she wanted was to give me my monthly supply of magazines, honking because she wanted to give me something. Hmmm, maybe I've been a little to hard on her all these years. I think I'll take a cue from The Princess, I'll accept that her "honking" is about My Mother being who she is, someone that's always wanting to give me something. When she appears, Sunny will just have to bark! Maybe Sunny is really barking because she's excited to see Baba!

When I came back inside, I started thinking about her and something she once said to me. Being me, as we were riding down the road one day, I was asking her questions about her life, the question? Is there anything you wish you had done differently? Her response "I wish I had been nicer to your Daddy." I loved My Mother in that moment more than I think I ever had before or have since and, I felt an ache in my heart for her, when she said that, my Daddy had already been gone for a while. It made me sad that she is carrying that regret with her.

My Mother's Day advice . . . Don't let that happen to You, think about it. Is there someone in your life that if they were gone you would wish you had been nicer to them? Is there anyone in your life that doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated? Is the person You need to be nicer to Yourself? If it's another person or Yourself, don't let regret stack up on You, be nicer where ever you need to be whether it's to someone else and most of all, if you need to be Nicer to Yourself, Do It!

Happy Mother's Day!

Changes . . .

On Wednesday, my brother Edward, left, once again and went home to California! I've been waiting for him to come home to stay since I was 10 yrs old! Edward is 8 years older then I am and, when he left home after high school, the waiting began! But, his leaving this time felt different. There was an unusual peace about the visit and the time I spent with my siblings while he was here. The four of us spent time just sitting, talking, just the four of us. Not something we've done much of in our lives. More than once while he was here, I looked around and was truly amazed that the four of us were simply sitting, talking, being present with each other, no competition, no struggle for attention. It felt really good. The usual stress and conflicts that have always existed in the past don't seem to be present anymore. The kindness, consideration and thoughtfulness that was present, made the jokes and pokes that are always present humorous instead of painful. I don't know if all the changes that have happened in my life the last few years are what's made the difference or if we've all changed in our own way over the last few years. But, whatever the reason, I enjoyed his visit, and the quality of the visit made the leaving a little less painful. Maybe one day, he will truly come home to stay! Never give up your dream!

Happy Birthday to my Precious Princess Daughter! Thirty today!!! Yikes!!

Come on 7:00 pm it's time for the Jive!!!

Sunday Morning . . . April 12th, 2009 - Happy Birthday to my Sweet Daddy!

Today, I started me day out watching Sunday Morning on CBS like I do most Sunday Mornings. I think that Sunday Morning is consistently, week-to-week, the best 1-1/2 hour of television ever produced. Today, Easter and what Easter is all about, they did a segment on forgiveness. Something we, as humans, sometimes struggle with. While watching the program, I realized that to say and "feel" like you have forgiven someone is not real if your actions continue to be altered because of past events. In other words, if the events that caused you to need to forgive hadn't happen would you behave differently. I realized in some parts of my life and in some situations the answer is YES! That is, in my opinion, a clear example of foregiveness not really being present. I'm going to try harder. The following is a summary of that segment of the show!

SUNDAY MORNING:

A memorial to the University of Wyoming Athletic Department in Laramie, Wyo., is adorned with flowers and photos of the eight deceased members of the cross country track team on Sept. 18, 2001. All eight were killed by a drunk driver.

(CBS) Can anyone who's suffered at the hands of another ever look that person in the eye and truly say that all is forgiven? On this Easter Sunday it's a question worth pondering. Our Cover Story is reported by Martha Teichner:
Forgive his executioners. That's what Jesus asked of God as he was dying on the cross. "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do," He said. With Christ's death and the celebration of his resurrection, today, on Easter, the world's two billion-plus Christians are reminded of a teaching central to their faith - that if God can forgive the worst of sins, so can they. "The Easter story in our tradition of Christ's movement from victim to victor is a model of how we can respond to tragedy in our own lives, and to move beyond it," said Rev. Chloe Breyer, an Episcopal priest in New York City. Fine in theory, but hard in practice. Ask victims of Bernie Madoff's multi-billion dollar Ponzi scheme. "I want his family to feel the pain they've inflicted on our family," said one man. Are there wrongs that are unforgivable, such as the Nazi death camps during the Holocaust? Are the families who lost loved ones on 9/11 ready to forgive the hijackers? Caught up in their anguish, most Americans never even heard about a horrific car accident a few days after the Twin Towers tragedy, or about the drunk driver who killed eight members of the University of Wyoming's cross country team.

(CBS)"It was such a severe crash that the bodies of the boys were strung out through that burrow ditch for 100 yards," said Kerry Shatto (left). "He'd actually carried some of 'em on his bumper." Shatto's son Shane was one of the dead runners. "I was proud about his uniform," he said. "To have your son on a university team is a big deal." Shatto put up a cross with eight names on it at the crash site. Debbie McLeland also lost her son, Morgan. "He died there on the highway, alone, without me," she said. "I couldn't say 'goodbye.' "That bothered me for quite a while. And then I thought about it and I thought how afraid he must've been, you know, because you're a mom." Clint Haskins says he has no memory of that night. A 21-year-old senior at the University of Wyoming on the rodeo team, he'd been drinking for hours at a party, then a bar. He's now serving a 14- to 20-year sentence for 8 counts of vehicular homicide.

(CBS)Debbie McLeland has forgiven him. Kerry Shatto has not. "I just can't live my life that way. I cannot live my life with a grudge and with hate and anger in my heart, I just can't," said McLeland (left). But Shatto said, "If I forgive him, then my son died for nothing. And I guess that's the part that drives me. I don’t want these eight boys to die for nothing." As his son was, Shatto is a volunteer fireman. He's worked tirelessly against drunk driving. He's on committees, and gives talks. So does Debbie McLeland. "There is no safe way to drink and drive," she said at one appearance.

(CBS)But look at how she's done it - appearing on the same stage as Clint Haskins (left). She and Haskins first appeared together in 2004. "There hasn't been a single day since this happened that I don't realize what I'm responsible for," Haskins said. The sight of the two of them, embracing, shocked and angered the other parents. McLeland is unapologetic. "I'm really angry about a lot of things and I'm really angry that I don't have my child," she said. "But I have to deal with this and I have to deal with it how I can. And I can't deal with it without forgiving." Clint Haskins is expected to come up for parole in another couple of years and, yes, Debbie McLeland (Morgan's mother) and Kerry Shatto (Shane's father) disagree over whether the person who took their sons' lives should go free. "I want him to have a life," McLeland said. "You know, my son has no life. I want Clint to have a Life. I want him to have a wife and children and a family."
You want to feel better. Revenge can do that in the short term, but it's kind of like junk food, really, in terms of happiness.

McCulloughBut Shatto said, "He gets out some day and he gets to have a family, and he gets to see his parents again, but my son will never get any of that. I don't have the forgiveness, that's just not in my heart to do that." Kerry Shatto.and Debbie McLeland: How could they come to opposite conclusions? It seems that human beings are driven by two very different impulses at the same time. "Revenge and forgiveness are like two sides of the coin," said Michael McCullough, a psychology professor at the University of Miami. "We know absolutely that revenge is this universal feature of human nature, but we also know now that there is a natural, evolved capacity to forgive that also exists in every human mind on the planet." We're taught that revenge is like a disease. But in his recent book, "Beyond Revenge: The Evolution of the Forgiveness Instinct" (Josey-Bass), McCullough argues otherwise. "This is one of the real surprises from neuroscience over the last decade: Revenge is not coming from some sick, demented, ill part of the brain," McCullough said. "The brain system that produces revenge is the same system we use when we're looking for something to eat when we're hungry. "Desire: it's the desire to satisfy a craving," he said. Forgiveness involves the part of the brain associated with empathy (the anterior cingulate cortices). "So forgiveness is born in part of the experience of somebody else's pain," McCullough said. "It doesn't feel very good to people to seek revenge against people they feel sorry for." When somebody harms us, we get upset emotionally and physically. We might hunger for revenge - but forgiveness is better for our health. "You want to feel better," McCullough said. "Revenge can do that in the short term, but it's kind of like junk food, really, in terms of happiness. In the long term, what forgiveness does is it restores valuable relationships, and that has a long term, sort of satisfying quality to it." There's the old saying that forgiveness is divine. "In Christianity, forgiveness is a central tenet," said Rev. Breyer. Which brings us back to religion. Forgiveness, says Rabbi Simkha Weintraub, is central to Judaism. At a conversation with representatives of four different faiths arranged by the Interfaith Council of New York, Imam Shamsi Ali said, "The most frequent attribute of God mentioned in the Holy Koran is His mercy and forgiveness." Lama Pema Wangdak talks about forgiveness as part of a quest toward a perfect, timeless principle of patience: "Part because we have nothing to forgive to anybody, part because we don't see the enemy outside. We see enemy inside of us." "There have been holy wars in the name of religious faith for centuries," said "Teichner. "How can the same religions that promote forgiveness also condone and take part in war?" "Those who were involved in the revenge, those were involved in the wars, are people who try to follow religions, but often time they fail," said Imam Shamsi Ali. "Some of those are using Islam as justification for their own purposes. And I think bin Laden in his way is one of those." But for Imam Shamsi Ali, being forgiving doesn't mean being a doormat: "Forgiveness doesn't mean for us to be oppressed, because we are human beings and we are realistic that we have that right to defend." "We do not have a religiously-sanctioned wars," said Lama Wangdak. But in Tibet last year, Buddhist monks rioted during protests against China, demonstrating a classic dilemma: "If you're peaceful and kind to the person who is not kind and always harmful to you, are you encouraging him or her? So the risk is always there, whether you do it in a peaceful way or the harmful way. Again, we go back to the principle: Just do the right thing." Rabbi Weintraub offered an example from Passover: "There's a point in the traditional Seder where we turn to God and we say, pour out your wrath against those nations that have come after us, and hand it over to God." "Vengeance left to God means forgiveness is our responsibility," said Rev. Breyer. "Don't come asking God for forgiveness, don't expect to be reconciled, unless you have been reconciled between the brother or the sister that you have offended. "In the Lord's Prayer, we say, 'Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us,'" said Rev. Breyer. But as Debbie McLeland and Kerry Shatto know only too well, yes, that's fine in theory, but hard in practice. Easter is all about giving us hope and the will to keep trying …